Andrew Flintoff says he is “getting there slowly” and is “probably in a better place” after reliving the life-altering car crash that he thought had killed him.
The former England cricket captain suffered a serious accident while filming for Top Gear in 2022 that left him with enduring major facial injuries.
He speaks about the incident in Disney+ documentary ‘Flintoff’, which is released on Friday, going into detail about the immediate aftermath and how he struggled to deal with the fallout.
‘After the accident, I didn’t think I had it in me to get through’
The 47-year-old, who is now coaching the England Lions, says in the show: “I thought I was dead because I was conscious but I couldn’t see anything. I was thinking, ‘is that it?’
“After the accident, I didn’t think I had it in me to get through. This sounds awful… part of me wishes I’d been killed. Part of me thinks, I wish I’d died.
“I didn’t want to kill myself… I wouldn’t mistake the two things. I was not wishing, I was just thinking, ‘this would have been so much easier’.
“Now I try to take the attitude that the sun will come up tomorrow and my kids will still give me a hug. I’m probably in a better place now.
“I don’t think I’m ever going to be better… just different now. I’m getting there slowly.”
Flintoff: ‘Now I try to take the attitude that the sun will come up tomorrow and my kids will still give me a hug. I’m probably in a better place now’
Flintoff’s wife Rachael: I think cricket saved him
Flintoff has also coached Hundred team Northern Superchargers since his accident, with wife Rachael saying: “I do think cricket saved him. It gave him a reason for being again.”
The documentary features an appearance by surgeon Jahrad Haq, who describes Flintoff’s injuries as one of the five worst he has come across in 20 years.
Flintoff says: “I remember my head got hit, I got dragged out. I went over the back of the car and it pulled my face down on the runway, about 50 metres, underneath the car.
“My biggest fear was, I didn’t think I had a face. I thought my face had come off. I was frightened to death.
“Even the memories of it are real, to the point where now I’m talking about it and I’m getting a bit jittery and I can feel the pain on the side of my face.
“I can feel like a phantom pain. It’s like a bit of a curse, really.”
The BBC “rested” Top Gear for the foreseeable future in 2023 after reaching a financial settlement with Flintoff, reportedly worth around £9m.
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