Man who shot 14-year-old hopes to one day mentor at-risk youth

Desperate to escape abuse as a teenager, Shawn Shea fled to Springfield with a friend, hoping for safety and a fresh start.

But instead of refuge, he found himself surrounded by fear and violence — living on what he called the “most dangerous street in Springfield.”

Without anywhere else to go, Shea found himself on a path that would end in unimaginable tragedy: the death of a 14-year-old girl.

Yet it’s the weight of those experiences that now drives Shea to want to help others like him and the young girl — once a friend — he killed.

“I want to deal with at-risk youth and just try to give them the hope and the access to role models that I didn’t have,” Shea, now 35, said during his May 27 parole board hearing. “Because I think that’ll not only save lives physically, but it’ll keep a lot of the emotional trauma that’s happening from happening in the first place.”

May 10, 2007

Four men, including 17-year-old Shea, associated with the Springfield street gang “SWAT Team,” drove toward a house that was a known hang-out spot for a rival gang on May 10, 2007.

Before they arrived, they stopped and got a .40 caliber Glock semiautomatic pistol.

When they arrived at the house, located at 338 Wilbraham Road, a group of people were standing on the porch. Shea leaned out the passenger window and fired six shots.

Fourteen-year-old Dymond McGowan was among the group. But she wasn’t associated with a gang. She was a neighbor girl that Shea knew who had recently left her foster home and had been reported missing.

But that night, she was caught in the crossfire of a street gang rivalry and was killed after being shot in the stomach.

Family members described McGowan as a teen who was “trying to find her way,” but still had close family ties and was making progress toward getting her life back on track. She enjoyed dancing, knitting and taking care of younger children.

“When she was born, she was so bright and shiny,” her mother, Jacquelyn Ballard, previously said, explaining why she chose the unique name of Dymond for her daughter.

Shea was arrested by the Springfield Police Department on May 16, 2007 for unrelated warrants. At that time, he was asked about his role in the shooting that killed McGowan, and he admitted to being the shooter.

Shea was convicted of first-degree murder and related charges in Hampden Superior Court in December 2008, after jurors deliberated for a day. His mother sobbed, and Shea, looking younger than his years in a suit and glasses, hung his head after the verdict was read.

As he was led from the courtroom during a recess before his sentencing, he burst out, “I didn’t even kill that girl,” and became agitated later as Ballard addressed Judge Peter A. Velis.

“I heard him as he was going out: I didn’t kill ‘that girl,’” Ballard told the judge before Shea’s sentencing. “He doesn’t even know her name.“

“I know her name. Her name is Dymond. I’ve known for five years,” he shot back.

He was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

In 2011, the state Supreme Judicial Court affirmed Shea’s first-degree murder conviction and life sentence.

Judge Ralph D. Gants said he reviewed the record of Shea’s case and found no error that “produced a substantial likelihood of a miscarriage of justice, nor any other reason to order a new trial or to reduce the defendant’s murder convictions to a lesser degree of guilt.”

However, Shea was later allowed to ask for parole due to a law change that prohibits teenagers from being sentenced to life without the possibility of parole.

He first went in front of the parole board in 2022 after serving 15 years. But he was denied.

Shea described McGowan as a friend. He said he originally denied killing her to everyone, including himself, until at least 2015.

The board was also concerned with his nearly 40 disciplinary reports.

“Mr. Shea presented well during his initial parole hearing; however, the Board remains concerned that he needs to display a longer period of positive adjustment,” the parole board wrote, also encouraging him to enroll in other programs over the next few years.

Change

Shea said he’s not the same person he was three years ago.

“I was creating harm constantly because I was harmed and hadn’t dealt with all the things that I had done,” he said.

Leah Johnson, a friend of Shea’s, was sitting next to McGowan when she was shot. She blames their childhood and the adults in their lives for contributing to what happened. Johnson, Shea and McGowan were just children trying to survive together, Johnson said.

“There were even nights where we shared the same bed or a plate of food. And it was never at any of our homes. There was no mother or father present to save Shawn, to save Dymond or myself. We were all left prey to the street by neglectful parents, along with other lost kids in the neighborhood. We laughed and joked and cried and survived together,” she said during the May parole board hearing.

She recalled the older gang members telling her, Dymond and another girl that it wasn’t safe to be on the porch that night. But where else were they to go?

“My mother no longer lived in the neighborhood. Dymond’s grandmother said she couldn’t come inside, and Katie’s mother said we couldn’t stay at their house,” Johnson said. “So we remained on that porch, supporting each other and refusing to leave one another alone.”

She remembered Shea being a “nerdy kid looking for acceptance.” He was quiet, kind, and a good person, she said, adding that she believes the gang took advantage of his need for love after a childhood of being in and out of foster care and experiencing multiple kinds of abuse.

“If Dymond, Shawn or I had proper care, none of us would have been out that night,” she said.

She asked the parole board to judge Shea on the man he’s become, not the lost 17-year-old boy he was when he fired those shots.

“Judge him now for the man he is today. He’s a good person. He’s prudent, forward looking and deliberate in everything he does. He’s a thoughtful person with sound judgment and good moral character,” she said.

Ultimately, she lost two friends that night, she said. But there’s still hope.

“I can’t have Dymond back. And I know it’ll always hurt, but I’m still praying that I can have Shawn back,” she concluded.

Forgiveness

In May, there were multiple voices absent from the hearing that should’ve been there. But their grief didn’t go unnoticed.

Shea wished Dymond’s family, including her father, would’ve been at the parole board hearing in May to once again apologize. But he was grateful they were there in 2022.

“I listened and took in what he said. I heard pain, pain that he had that had not lessened in the years since I took his daughter’s life. I heard his grief over an inability to make up for time lost and have his own second chance with his daughter,” Shea said.

He hopes to take their grief and his own and one day turn it into something to better society.

“I have an obligation to Dymond, to her family, friends and the community to repair a harm that cannot ever be fully repaired. I will be living out that obligation for the rest of my life,” he said.

He said he’s been able to talk with some of McGowan’s friends over the years about the pain and trauma he caused them.

He took it to heart and they forgave him.

“I still don’t understand your forgiveness, but I am so grateful for it. Thank you,” he said. “Every day I’ll be working to earn the forgiveness that you have gifted me.”

Being part of various programs while incarcerated have also given him the opportunity to hear from other survivors of trauma caused by people in their communities.

Those stories, Shea said, became a lifeline — helping him begin to understand the hurt he caused and rebuild his life. But amid the healing, there’s a silence that can never be filled. One voice, forever missing.

“I wish I could sit with Dymond and hear her survivor story every day,” he said.